Weather Porn: Records In “Broken, Not Broken” Shocker…With Storm Porn On The Way

With the UK media winding up for days to this moment, it appears that unfortunately mother nature has today failed to create enough weather porn to satisfy their needs.

So they made it up anyway.

The BBC, on their 24 hour news channel stated that temperatures “Exceeded 48 degrees Fahrenheit in places”, but didn’t quite break the “All time” European temperature record of…..48 degrees, set in Greece in 1977.

How the BBC came to this bizarre conclusion is unknown. However the “In places” bit suggests that actually it wasn’t beaten at all, other than by some guy waving a thermometer somewhere.

More on that sort of madness in a minute.

The ever-trustworthy BBC also stated that:

“Temperatures reached 46C (115F) in places, close to Portugal’s national record of 47.4C (117.3F).”

“Close” for the BBC being actually 1.4 degrees Celsius short of the record, which in terms of “close”  is actually significantly not the case at all.

Our friends at the “Intelligent tabloid” (The Mirror, for the avoidance of any doubt), went a step further, sending a dedicated team of “journalists” to Spain to monitor the temperatures for themselves.

Sending journalists to cover weather, makes the Mirror’s reluctance to send even a single journalist to find out why the official timeline for the Skirpals Novichok poisoning is a crock of shit even more of a mystery.

But…anyway……

The Mirror’s dedicated hit team, I mean team of journalists, went to Spain, with the emotive headline:

“Thousands flee 43C killer heatwave in Portugal and Spain”

Two points on this.

1. 43 is not “killer” heat in any universe.  In fact, officially just two people in Spain have died from heat related problems so far.

2. Thousands have not fled because of a heatwave.  They have fled because of common, normal, seasonal wildfires.

The Mirrors elite team also claimed that:

“In Finland temperatures reached 30C (86F) – 22 degrees higher than usual “

There is only one problem with this claim.

It’s bollocks.

Temperatures are actually close to average, with Helsinki basking in 24 degrees Celcius today, against a historical average of 21 degrees.

But undeterred by the need to stick to facts, the Mirrors elite weather porn team then dug up some obscure article to claim that:

“Norwegian drivers were urged to watch out for reindeer hiding in tunnels to avoid 24C (76F) heat.”

OK, lets look at some reindeer facts.  Lets ask the Reindeer Herders Association of Finland.  They will know right?

Well, according to them:

Reindeer has adjusted well to great changes in temperatures. The difference between summer and winter temperatures can easily be 70 degrees Celsius. In Siberia, reindeer have adjusted to -70 degrees Celsius in the winter and +40 degrees Celsius in the summer.

+40 degrees Celcius

Did you get that.

EIGHTEEN degrees hotter than it is right now in Scandinavia.

So those reindeer hiding in tunnels must be there for some other reason than to keep cool.  Perhaps to avoid the herds of moronic weather porn journalists?

 

And It Gets More Ridiculous….

The good old Mirrors elite weather team also found that local temperatures were not officially higher than the magic 48 degrees Fahrenheit that would allow them to publish a “Highest Temperature Evuuhhh Shocker” headline.

So they went and bought a thermometer and held it up in the air to see if they could find more heat.

They then claimed temperatures “Hit 50 degrees”.

At the time they claimed this, they were holding up:

….A thermometer on a road. 

….Next to a metal car,

….Holding a kids thermometer up to the sun. 

….In a hot hand.

Heatstroke must have affected the Mirrors editorial team to let such complete toss be published as a serious piece of journalism.

But don’t worry, the Guardian has got it covered, by moving things gently towards STORM PORN:

“A yellow severe warning for thunderstorms was in place for some parts of England and Scotland until 9pm on Friday.”

You literally couldn’t make these pathetic attempts at sensationalist, panic-mongering, journalism up.

Except they did.


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Steve
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Steve

Saw some nutter named Basu gabbing on about climate change the other day. He stated the change was fast moving and dynamic. When asked to provide evidence in support of climate change he said he could not because it was extremely fast changing and dynamic. When asked what we should be on the lookout for weather wise he replied “I’m not telling you”. A colleague and mentor of Mr Basu and fellow weather watcher Lord Condon stated that “he, (Basu) receives a handsome salary and should not be doubted.”

Keep up the stellar work!

tenAg
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tenAg

I am pretty sure we are having some impact on the climate.

However this article is wonderful for calling out the sheer awfulness of our press in the UK.

Steve
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Steve

When you say ‘we’, do you mean those that spray toxic filth into the skies across the globe on a daily basis, or are you referring to those that might boil a kettle for a cup of tea?

Charlie boy runs his Range Rover and his Roller on left over table wine but he owns a prius, so he’s the man. I on the other hand own a 12 year old Freelander that does more than 40 to the gallon, but it is a 4wd so I’m a b*****d.